March is here WOOOT....

so far march has been uneventful for the most part but its only the 3rd, wow i have way too high expectations...i guess livin the dream brings in some high demands. hmmmm, more i think about it, its probably impossible to live the dream in fucken North Fargo or anywhere in this area for that matter. if i didnt have ties to this area i would have been gonzos a long effin time ago. so anyways on to poker. when you play poker, well anyways for me i like to go month to month from an income standpoint. the start of a new month always seems like a new beginning. so far this month i havent played, thats about to change dramatically tomorrow. its time to shut it down, lock myself in my room, and hopefully crush every clown that tries to get in my way. i have been looking at peoples results at the level that im going to be playing and its pretty sick the amount of money that the top players are winning, there is no excuse for me not to be among them. i plan on making this damn list this month and months to come. im probably what you would call a lazy poker player, that is going to change. so, what i have decided to do is take a stake. which is probably not the best way for me to about things considering im not ever worried about losing, but it will motivate me to play. something needs to be done. a friend of mine is going to loan me 10k, i am going to grind the shit out of 200nl and benefit 70 percent of my winnings over 80k hands in 31 days. if i play any less then 80k hands he will get 50 percent of my rakeback and my earnings which is unacceptable. i will make sure i get my hands in. this is one way to get me back on pace to accomplish what i want out of poker. i have been doing this way to long to not be fucken RICH by now, by my standards anyways. this will be a win, win for both of us i think in the end. If at the end of the 31 days i like whats going on with the stake deal, we will work out another deal for 2/4, not sure whats going to happen in the end but i cannot lose a dime out of deal, in hindsight if i cant beat 200nl over 80k hands someone should probably just shooot me in the face or atleast give me a swift kick to the nuts.
the past year has been good to me for the most part, i have made a decent amount of money, met some people that have impacted my life in a positive ways and learned some pretty valuable life lessons. my daughters have grown so much, and more and more become a bigger part of my life. even tho i have to admit im not the best dad at times, i have go about things in a differant way then others. certain people have made me realize my faults, and opened my eyes to things i can and cannot do. if i fail at many things in life one thing i cannot do is fail as a father, i need to take that more into perspective i think, lucky for me my family and friends are nothing short of amazing. im pretty sure if i ever needed anything i can go to a certain group of people and have no worries about just about anything. a few things i do regret this past year is being lazy alot of the time, i really dont have much to do most the time other then play poker and i slack at that. this needs to come to an end also, i need to go back to school, or find a hobby of some kind. maybe ill just learn to play the piano or something, chicks dig that shit i think. rosetta stone is another thing im interested in, speaking multiple languages would be useful, and something that seems fun learning. so, speaking french, being rich, and playing the piano seems like something that might even get me into megan foxs pants, that would be quite the story, shit she might even take me out to dinner huh miller. another thing i have learned in past year is not taking people forgranted and not being a doooshbag. for the most part i dont think you really realize how you good you have it or what something means to you until its gone, and sometimes i guess thats what needs to happen to get your mind right. its like electricity or not having a car for a few days, its going to drive you insane when you dont have it, but you dont really think about it when you do. i also need to work on my bar manners, evidently i can be a huge clown sometimes, i have been kicked out of bars before and i usually claim its not my fault. sometimes its probably not but in reality i probably deserved most of them regardless if it was minuscule or not. and last but not least....DONT TRUST ANYONE, maybe your mom can be the exception or a select few friends. people are always looking out for number one, i think have learned that the hard way for the most part.
so, on that note, from here on out i plan on getting back to where i was a year ago from a poker standpoint over the next few months. and everything else should fall into place nicely. i have my holdem manager now, a new name to play on, rakeback is good to go, all i need to now is put in the time. planning on big month, anything short of this is going to be a dissappointment.
oh ya almost forgot, i still dont have my 2k, shit i dont have $1 of that. no phone call from daddy yet since i left him a message, since apparently hes handling his daughters fuck ups now. i guess when you are 26 and cant take care of yourself who else are you supposed to go to? i guess you just steal from your ex bf and move on like its OK? i hope your new wonderbra from victorias secret is comfortable. i will continue to blog about this matter until i have heard something positive or negative about the situation. if i get negative facecrushing i think will have to inevitable...so thank you very much, no fuck you very much. im off to bed..big day tommorrow.