your piss poor morally...

so, as for poker, i would like to fly to los angeles and play in rush hour traffic blind fold and see what happens. been running/playing bad past few days. im what i would like to call in a poker slump, its probably comparable to ichiro hitting .111 for a few months, ya that bad. i never worry about downswings in poker because variance is a huge part of being a gambler...take it or leave it , it is what it is. but on a positive note i havent played any 6max i have lost everything at 200 plo, ran absolutely horrid, ill go back to that game after a few more days maybe weeks of grinding out some more NLHE. My god i need to just sit down and start crushing again, walk on water maybe a few days get some confidence back. once you start owning a few clowns it all starts falling into place again.
as for life outside of poker i have been a boozehound as of late. hell, who doesnt like to drink. im confident that 70-72 percent of the greatest times of my life happened when i was either buzzed up nicely or blacked. i have some funny stories to tell, but ill save those for another time. well last sunday mornin as i was sleepin i overhear krup talking with sully saying that he didnt think he drank enough the night before. this comment confused the shit out of me considering the fact that he was puking in my bathroom after bar then proceeded to pass out in my hallway with his ass all over the place, so i would love to know what he is like when he drinks "enough".
ahhh and finally to my 2k, thats a whole new ballgame of WTF. so well ya ahhh really shit huh maybe no yes, FUCK YOU. ill explain that into detail probably tomorrow also. not sure if a facecrush is still in affect, not sure if i can do it to her or not.

lost 2k the shady way....

so today i finally found out that my ex gf decided to spend the 2k that i lent her. she says she paid for her car but we both know she is lieing. that is garbage. she went shopping. she went to the express, victorias secret, macys, and a few other places for clothes...if she says otherwise it all a lie and she knows it. she only told me a few places that she went in the mall but its all just a huge lie. i could tell just by talking to her, i know it her bullshit all too well. she then took my money to the grocery store and shipped her pathetic friend who has stolen from her before 500,, lol nice work you fuck. i needed that shit for multiple reasons and im going to facecrush her tomorrow. this is not something im going to just let slide, at first i thought i was but as i thoughta bout it longer and longer i decided that she was just too shady to let off the hook. i have never stolen shit from anyone nor been shady my entire fucken life, and for this to happen after all i ahve done for this girl is beyond unreal. im off to bed now the girls are going to be up in a few hours and are going to be beggin for some breakfast way too early for my liken.

took down a DONKament....

so i havent really been playing at all past few days, probably get back into that tomorrow sometime. but since my last session i have probably played 200 hands of break even poker and some HU plo where im up round $600 playing for about 10 minutes and quitting. thats probably why i havent really played. so anyways, went to big ds last night had a few drinks nothing eventful happened other then a few crazy blackjack hands. seriously if there was no such thing as blackjack i would be rich i think. i lost like 40 bucks or something, but i hate losing with a passion. chris showed up around midnight to give us a ride home at close since he worked close to there. when we got home we decided to play a little tourney with about 190 people or so in it for $26. ususally its just donk around, never really care, go all in with crap, and go to bed. well tonight we won a few hands early and then the starting to care set in. A few hours later we found ourselves at the final table and took it down. 1st place was nothing special but for a late night little buy in mtt the $1350 was nice none the less. the PLO and MTT wins im not going to count towards my goal, they pretty much just make up for the other night when i came home and spewed around for no reason. so ill just call it even. i think from now on im only going to play 2k hands and if im running good or have some good tables ill go for 3k. and on top of that im going to start playing some HU plo 1/2, that game should be fairly easy to beat, hopefully it will speed up my run to play 2/4 so i can start seeing some bigger results. maybe ill just pay ryan 4k an hour to watch him play some HU NLHE, i just want to be a PHENOMENON like him at that game.
on a side note i still dont have my 2k, starting to get more annoyed by this situation everyday. off too bed.

really...

im going to my brothers place to get food. next thing i know ill be hunting squirrels and rabbits.

when life gives you lemons, paint that shit gold...

what a day or should i say week. I think that its safe to say that its by far the longest of my life for multiple reasons. as for poker, it has went well. i played 1700 hands last night and won another $400, then came home from bar and lost my ass, not in mood to talk about that. im not going to count it towards my challenge i was wasted and doing lots of stupid shit that is not ever going to happen again.
so i decided to head over to take 2 video to try and rent the last few episodes of 24 season 4. when i come to find out that i have a $29 late fee, and they wouldnt let me rent because of the fact that i have a bad check written to them thats not accounted for.....ya is $8, wtf is my life coming too holy shit. so thats just the start to my UHmazing day. i then find out that im not getting my check on tuesday, wednesday, thursday comes nothing oh friday at latest, nope, ok saturday at a decent time maybe?? nope, saturday round 4 oclock how convienient. Oh thats not even the worst part, i got 3k of my 5k, the other 2k is being held hostige. so, i will be taking care of that asap, lets just hope that i even get it. so of my 5k that im supposed to have like 4 days ago, its alll pretty much gone the second i touch it. i finally got ahold of the holder of my check and she figured 3k would be enough to get by for the time being...LOL. I have learned alot the past few months and maybe having too much trust in people is a flaw of mine. i would have never seen this shit coming ever. she had to have got the check and cashed it right away to be able to get an actual check, not to mention the mother of this young lady told her she should take it into the authorities, how convienient. what in the fuck is going on here, im literally blown away right now. i have never fucked anyone over in my life so when this starts happening to me its a bit annoying to say the least. especially from her, because i have never done anything but be there always. so on top of all that im overdrawn in my checking account have $4 dollars in cash and contemplating what to do with that. on top of that my rent check is probably going to bounce now along with the multiple other ones, and i have my student loan place annoying me not to mention my cell phone that could go out any day. thank you so much for taking my check cashing it and paying me 3k, your the best, hwen i could have had it probably on fucken tuesday and everything would be fine.
so enuf rambling about the stupid situation that i got myself into, dont get me wrong i take full responcibilty for my actions and if we were good none of this would be happening. so, last night was pretty fun. i actually let loose with no worries for first time in a long time. miller picked me up and we headed to the hub of all places, weird right. so we get there and im waiting for a drink at the cadellac ranch and these 2 randoms come over to me and ask if im single, so i say yes. they then ask me if i would be interested in meeting their friend, so i do and it happens to be her bday and she wasnt really that attractive to me and seemed boring, and evidently i had competition. they found 2 guys in bar and brought them to her to choose? wtf, weird, i just kinda walked away it was kinda funny, i didnt say anything to this girl and about 10 minutes later they came back over to me and asked if i wanted to meet her again i declined, im not interested in some skeeeeeez at the hub anyways, she prob wasnt a skeeez but that words kinda funny. so then don shows his face and we get a few drinks, and shots, and more drinks. he then floated my drunk ass $100 to play blackjack and i dont think i won a hand. we then headed downtown to ob, where miller drives us there parks we get out then he just leaves. really jon, drop us off at the fucken door if your gonna just go it was cold outside. so anyways don and i had a few drinks there is sucked ass for the most part and headed to sports bar. i had a good time there, ran into some people that i knew took one too many shots of patron, and some girl gave me her number at the end of the night. we had something in common, we both liked patron, best part i think she even paid for a round. so she texted me today who is whats ur name, i was kinda happy about that because i had no idea what hers was. thats a good sign of a good night for most part i think, atleast i didnt wake up next to a random and regret what i had just done, i dont plan on that ever happening again, dont think thats my style anymore. so i texted her back whos this? perfect i now have her name so i dont look like a gigantic dbag, pretty sure i have a problem remembering names all the time. well now its time to grind and get ready for tonight, i think im going to paint fargo red 2 nights in a row. nucccca!

finished off last 600 hands +500...

so i figured since i had no excuse not to play i would get in my last 600 hands for the day, i ended playing 1150 and won another $500, so today went well. played 3500 hands with a total profit of $1600 and now up $2900 since the start of my challenge. im happy about my start for the most part. i think im going to head out tonight and celebrate my first big day of challenge.

good day today...

i just finished playing 2400 hands, wasnt in the mood for the last 600, i lost a few big hands the last 100 that might have tilted me so i quit. i ended up winning a little under $1100. i think i need to start using my left hand when i play, my right is starting to get tired its getting annoying. i still dont have holdem manager so i cant post exact results hopefully within next few days. so far into my challenge i am up about $2400, which im happy with given the fact im 8 tableing with no stats and im not completely into it all the time. got some other shit goin on still thats annoying me. i still have no check, hopefully i will get it one way or another today. so this morning i woke up about 7 am because of girls crawling into bed with me, we then slept until almost 9 and headed off to daycare round 11. they got into my closet again and started asking questions about old pictures i have in there. they are good at remembering faces. i think im going to watch some espn for a minute then workout round 7 or so. after that if there is no word on my check i have to ask about it again, something im not looking forward to doing givent the fact ill probably get either no responce or one that will maybe ruin my night. we will see what happens.

so effin tired...

so i just played 1175 hands tonight, which was enough for me. i wasnt really into it, found myself making some bad calls and boredom was setting due to lack of games going on because it was so late. regaurdless still won a little over $400, which im more then happy about that result anytime. i lost a few big pots but ran well most of the time. for the most part it was all regulars.
so, today was kinda a long day regaurdless if i woke up at 1145. i had alot to do, i had to clean this place up before the girls came, run a few errands, and figure out how the fuck im gonna get my check. for some reason simple tasks like that are hard for some people. All that needs to be done is grab your mail, see if its there, drive it to my car, and leave. it should take no more then 5 minutes...shit jack bauer could probably pull this off in the middle of saving our country for a 7th time, while dodging bullets. whatever, what can you do. other then that i had a great night. i picked up the girls around 530 or so we went to mcdonalds for supper, they kinda go crazy with the WEEEEEEE (playground). after supper we came home hung out for a bit and watched some american idol, lost, and basketball. they are getting so big so fast its scary. they now know how to push my buttons even more and how to manipulate me into doing what they want and what they want me to do. they are starting to talk much better now and pretty much just own me. after they went to bed i finished watching to bball game, and lost which i had recorded. i must say that show is getting more and more fucked up everytime i watch it. off to bed, girls will be up in a few hours.

can't get right....

So i played 3600 hands yesterday in 2 differant sessions. they both were about the same. one i broke dead even in give or take $20 bucks and the second time around i won $160, so i havent really lost yet but i havent had that big day yet either, or big loss for that matter. yesterday was next to impossible to focus also, once all this shit passes thats been going on lately and i get my holdem manager things will get better. then ill be able to post exact results and go over some hands.
as of right now im still playing under "life is crap" that is going to change at end of the month. not sure what my new name is gonig to be but im ready for a fresh start if anything.
so last night between my 2 sessions was a first for me. i called miller to see if he wanted to grab a drink somewhere, he seemed interested at first but when i was on my way to his place he decided not to go out. so i was bored out of my mind and not in mood for poker so i ventured over to the hotel/motel hollllliday innn where i wrote a bad check and played blackjack for about an hour or so. ya life is grand at times, i ended up winning $60 bucks got my check back and left for home. i almost felt pathetic most of the time i was there but it was a good time regaurdless my table was hilarious filled with a few drunk clowns, they made me laugh just about every hand and would take shots if they got blackjacks so i joined them for a few. they were from indiana on a business trip, i guess its nice to let looose when your from out of town. i think i finally decided to leave after this 6'6 or so dude fist pounded me after he won a hand that almost broke it, he was a little too exited to win his $4 dollar double down. if i was drunk im sure i would have been equally exited. i left there around 1145 and left for home to then play out the rest of my hands for the night. i plan on playing tonight after the girls go to sleep, hopefully i can get right and crush some noooobs.

hoping for a big day today...last night went ok.

recap of yesterday. i could have won a million last night and it still might have sucked. so anyways, after my conversation with jen i decided i needed to atleast have a drink or 2 so sully and i headed up to slammers for a couple, played some blackjack and had a few drinks. when we got back i decided to play some poker with a nice buzz on, and it went ok. i ended up drinking lots of water and played 3o00 hands. with the situation at hand and with a bit of alcohol i ended up being ahead whomping $112. WOOOT! so today and tonight im going to hopefully have a big day. im going to work out here in a bit, then start the grind. i have been waiting on someone to work out with but i dont think thats in the cards for us at the moment, so i guess ill just have to start going alone.

hard to focus....

i havent posted past few days for a few reasons.
1) i had my daughters a few days
2) i drank a bit too much a few times
3) shit has recently hit the fan with a certain someone (i take the blame i think regaurdless if the allegations are false and ludacris there is nothing i can do to change peoples minds)

on top of that i have played about 4000 hands of poker since my last post. which means tongiht i have to play 5200 to make my goal for hands played. im not sure i am going to be able to do that, maybe 3000 at most even that is going to be difficult. reason being is that is not that easy to focus right now and pay all my attention to poker while im playing, my mind has been wandering past few days and my attention has been given to other things. over the past 4000 hands i managed to net a win of $400, which seems a bit low but like the past few days i have ran bad in some big spots. On the flip side i have also played bad a few hands and got lucky.
i had a bunch of hands saved that i was going to post but lost them all. so after a few days of work i am up $635 and feel like im playing like ass, and havent played as much as i should. tonight should be interesting.

frustrating first session

i ended up playing 3300 hands of 1/2 and cannot believe i didnt come out ahead more. i ened up being ahead $212. i felt a little rusty at first but shortly into it i started playing good. i think throughout the entire session i have regrets in 3 hands. unfortunatly i dont have my poker tracker up and running yet so i could post them. i ran pretty good halfway through and then all went to shit and i played bad for about a 500 hand span that cost me a few buy ins. i probably should have won atleast 5 buyins if i played a little bit better in certain spots. i was running bad in flips against shorter stacks which adds up in the end but did lost a $1161 pot which is sickely huge at this level on a 4 outer where i had 17 outs to draw him completely dead, what a fucken joke.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3821037
the original buy in at this table is $200, i had built my stack up by crushing rontti1 in a few hands that he played poorly. after i realized how bad he was i searched him and he was playing 3 tables which for the most part would mean hes probably not too bad, fortunalely he continued to play horrible. so rontti1 and are deep coming into this hand, which we both have 3 buyins at the table. i am trying to play as many pots against this guy as possible and trying to isolate him heads up as much as possible. when i make a continuation bet on this hand i am hoping he comes along to see atleast a turn and if he raises ill probably just call. but when i open and oprah winfrey raises me and he cold calls there is too much money in there to just call so i decided to repop it. to my surprise oprah winfrey folds and my donkey shoves. when we get all in on flop i am a 83% favorite to win the hand and he ends up sucking out. if i win just this hand i would have profited $1400 today which would have been a nice start. hopefully by tomorrow ill have my holdem manager working. $200 down, 89,800 to go. seems so far away.

trying to create motivation

for literally 8 months i have not taken poker very serious, this is something that is unacceptable anymore. i have not had a losing month in that timeframe, but a few months the results were laughable. i have not used the resources that are available to me, i have been playing without stats on players and having to rely on remembering without it. The amount of hands that i play on any given day makes it nothing short of retarded to not use what i need.
first thing is first i am going to buy a program called holdem manager, its a computer program that will tell me how players are playing. anything from how often they open pots, to how aggressive, passive, pretty much anything i need to know it will give to me while i am playing. the stats overlay of the players name on the table. once you learn how to read the information your edge on beating the other players increases tremendously. i have probably lost alot of money on decisions past few months but just not having that alone.
today during the day is when im going to start the grind. i am going to start at playing 1/2, i feel like im degrading myself to this since there is no reason for to ever have to play at that level again but due to my lack of respect for the dollar i am going to do this. i am going to sit at 8-12 tables at time with $200 at each one and grind out 3000 hands, i am going to try and do this everyday. it will only take me about 3-4 hours, never more then 4. when i think about this, if i worked 8 hour days like a normal person my job seems fairly simple. unfortunatly its not as easy as it seems, making poor decisions is something that you just cannot do if you are going to be a profitable player. i am going to put $10,000 into this account and go from there. the first month is going to by far be the slowest moving. i am not going to play 2/4 until i have reached $25,000. this is when my jumps will be significantly higher since the stakes double in size. when i make my jump if i ever dip below $20,000 i will be dropping back down to 1/2 until i get back to $25,000. eventually i will make it happen at 2/4 and be on my way. i am then going to grind out 2/4 until i reach $65,000, this may take sometime, the players arent as bad as they used to be and the swings are high at times. when i reach that goal i am going to play 3/6 and see how the games are. it might be more profitable to stay at 2/4, reason being is because there are more players at that level and that means more people who arent very good. from that point on i will use good game selection and only be in games where i think i have a slight edge. in order for that im going to have to seek out bad players at the table on only focus on them for most part.
this is something i should have done a long time ago, i have probably played over a million hands of poker and pretty much know what to do without even really thinking about it most the time. my biggest downfall when it comes to poker is my lack of respect for a dollar, there have been plenty of times where i would spew lots of money knowing it was wrong to just "gamble". another big thing that is a problem with lots of players is "tilting", this happens when you are running bad and leads to bad play. there is nothing more gratifying to a poker player to be crushing a guy and have him on tilt, its like taking candy from a baby. this is something i cannot do, if i even feel like i playing bad for an extended period of time i am going to quit and play again later.
everyday that i play i am going to post my results on this blog, how much i win or lose how many hands and post a few significant hands i felt i either fucked up at or feel i played well, there will be plenty of them everyday. i take lots of pride in not making mistakes but i do it all the time, hopefully with reviewing what i am doing, i will improve a great amount. this is something i have never done, i have alwyas just played quit and not really thought about it later. this challenge is going to make me a better player no doubt about that.